How many times have I started something only to quit a short time into it? Too many times to count and I’m confident in saying that I’m probably not alone. We live in a world that is looking for the reward without the work, the prize without the game, and the payoff without the investment. I, for one, am sick of it and I intend to do something about it.
Over the last few months, I’ve been reading a ton of books that are helping me in dealing with my all or nothing, need it right now, if I don’t see results immediately it isn’t working mindset. I struggle with the wait because:
- I tend to be impatient
- I struggle with the concept of wasting time.
Because of the loss of my 1st husband so young, I am painfully aware that time is something that you cannot get back. You can’t make more. You don’t know how much you have. You can’t have it again if you’ve wasted it…..and I’ve wasted a ton.
Even being very aware of time and striving to make the most of it, I have wasted a great deal by trying to do that very thing. I want everything now so that time isn’t wasted and when that doesn’t work, I run after the next shiny object because I don’t have time to waste…..thus wasting more time because I am starting over again.
I’ve done this with my health. I’ve done this with my business. I’ve done this in almost every area of my life.
And I’m so over it.
I recently read The Miracle Equation by Hal Elrod. For anyone that doesn’t know him, he got his fame through his wildly successful book The Miracle Morning (which is excellent, by the way). The main premise of The Miracle Equation is that through unwavering faith and extraordinary effort, you can accomplish anything and everything you want. So simple yet brilliant.
The basic template associated with accomplishing your goals (which is called the Miracle Mantra) is this:
I am committed to maintaining unwavering faith that I will ___(goal)____, and I will continue to put forth extraordinary effort until I do. No matter what, there is no other option.
The thought that I can have what I desire if I just don’t give up is mindblowing to me. Simple but not easy. Time is going to pass anyway, so basically if I DON’T stay the course, regardless of what is happening, that is the worst waste of time. If I am constantly starting over, chasing new – faster – things, I am doing the very thing I am afraid of. I will never reach my goals because I never give my efforts a chance to pay off.
Heck, I don’t even give myself time to form habits that will eventually accomplish my goals because I have such “squirrel syndrome”. Jumping from one thing to the next but never getting anywhere.
Dr. Caroline Leaf says in her podcast (#113) that for you to change your habits, you need at least 63 days (3 cycles of 21).
- Days 1-21 to form the core habit
- Days 22-63 to consciously avoid falling back into the old habit. To intentionally practice replacing old habits with new.
There is much more in this podcast episode that I will discuss at a later time, but for now, I am focusing on how if I can be intentional for 63 days, it will actually change my brain in regards to what I default to when life gets rough and I need to rely on habit to continue pushing forward toward my goals.
It will surely take me more than 63 days to achieve my goals, but if I make the process to attaining them a goal that is just automatic for me, eventually, my goals will be met.
I also tend to want to change all the things at once and set myself up for failure. I need to pick a few things to focus on and get into habits with before I add more.
I cannot simultaneously focus on getting fit/healthy, building my business, keeping a clean house, running my kids everywhere, and being the best wife for my husband. I just can’t do it all, and neither can you. And that is ok. Everything has a season and an ebb and flow. You just need to pick 1 or 2 things that you want to change and start working on them.
It has taken the pressure off of me to know that *all* I have to do is not quit and things will move forward.
There will need to be other things added to my list as I master habits but, for now, here a few of the things that I am committing to:
- I am committed to working out at least 4 days a week, not necessarily losing weight though I know that will be a side effect.
- I am committed to not eating sugary snacks. (I will eat naturally sweetened snacks a couple of times a week).
- I am committed to posting on this blog on Mondays and Wednesdays
- I am committed to posting on my business Facebook page at least 2x/day.
I don’t want to set myself up for failure, so these commitments are only a few of what I want to accomplish, but to avoid overwhelm, that is where I am starting. Only picking 4 is so incredibly hard for me, but I know that I can’t change everything all at once.
I am committed to these things no matter what and will continue with them even if results take a long time. I will not be emotionally attached to the results. I will not second guess.
Does this resonate with you? Would you like to join me on this quest of stopping the starting over? Time will pass anyway, will you be sorry next year at this time that you didn’t start today? What are the goals that you’ve put off long enough and it’s time to move on them?
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