During a leadership class the other day, I was inspired to share a revelation that the Lord had given me a few months before my first husband passed away.
We were discussing servant leadership and what it meant to lead from a heart of selflessness. As someone that is naturally selfish, this has been a struggle for me for as long as I can remember. I want my way, I want it now, and I want praise for coming up with the perfect idea. It was haaaaaard for me to back down and relinquish control, but what came out of that submission was so beautiful.
At that time, I was struggling with what I was supposed to be doing in my life. What my purpose was. I thought that stay at home moms were great….as long as it wasn’t me that was staying home. I was bored. I didn’t want to deal with my children all day. I didn’t want to cook and clean. There had to be something better.
I remember saying several times to homeschooling moms or stay at home moms, “I don’t know how you do it. I just couldn’t stay at home all day. I need a break from my kids”.
However, I started going through a process of refinement. The Lord started to show me what true selflessness was all about. As someone that wants to be in control, this was a very painful experience.
The lightbulb that changed my life was this–
Does this matter in light of eternity?
Does it really matter that my husband threw his socks down beside the bed instead of putting them in the hamper? Does it really matter that I’m not